these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
