You smell like a Billy Joel song
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
