I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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