Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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