this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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