Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
