I want to walk on stilts...naked
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
