Non-Jews are for practice
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
