I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
