I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
