wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
