I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
