I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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