I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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