Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
