Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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