yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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