She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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