fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize