He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
