At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
