My first STD was from a foam party
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize