Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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