she looked like the before picture.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize