Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Text me some of your sweat
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
