? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
