We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
