Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
