I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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