If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
