Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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