it was like eating out sand paper
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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