do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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