I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
