Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
