biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
