I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
