We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
