Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
