Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
