I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
