I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
