Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
