In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
