Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
