It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
