Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
