Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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