youre lurking in front of me
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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