just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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