I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
