is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
