i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He passed out mid-signature
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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