remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
