So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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