glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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