If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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