How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
