Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
