i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
