sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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