ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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