Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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